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Naming a Star - The Cool Gift You Have Never Heard About

Thursday, 21 June 2012


Naming a star is something you've probably never heard about before. After all, the universe is a big place. Is it really possible to adopt a star or name a star after someone?

The answer is - yes and no.

You can't name a star through an official organization like NASA which is the ultimate star watching, star naming group.

However, there are some really interesting star registries that privately offer you the ability to name a star of your own. These registries specialize in creating very pretty packages or star kits that are designed to be an intriguing and fun gift appropriate for just about every occasion.

In most star kits the recipient receives detailed information about "their" star, including an astronomical map showing exactly where they can find their star in the sky. This is a great gift for someone like a child who enjoys looking through a telescope and studying the planets and stars, because the idea of a star being named after him or her is fun and inspiring.

But there are many other situations where naming a star after someone might be appropriate.

If you have someone in your life who has made a significant impact, such as a teacher, mentor, or sports coach, and you'd like to show them how much their help has meant to you, you might consider naming a star after them. It demonstrates the idea that this person has boosted your skills, supported you in tough times, and made a real difference in your life.

You could also adopt a star in honor of someone who has been a spiritual guide to you such as a minister, therapist, rabbi, or priest. People who work in the challenging field of religion or healing, providing encouragement, guidance, and help to people who are going through tough times, often don't receive enough feedback about how life-saving their advice has really been. By naming a star after them, you could show them that they have been your "guiding star" at a difficult time and will always occupy and important place in your heart.

Other gift giving occasions such as weddings, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, and Father's Day can all be fun times to adopt a star for someone. So many times we find it difficult to come up with a unique gift giving idea. We're a culture saturated with "stuff," and sometimes the last thing somebody really needs is a silly ornament or gadget or piece of clothing that they're never going to wear. Why not buy those people something with a greater personal significance and name a star in their honor?

As the years go by, so many important people who have helped make our lives better slip through the cracks. It can be great to show some of them how much you appreciate the contributions they have made to your education, health, wealth, and overall well-being by naming a star after them.

Naming a star after someone is easy and fun! Learn how to do it at our site: Naming a Star.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Felicia_Graham

Dating on a Budget – Why Cheap Can Be Fun

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

From time to time, I am being asked for advice on how to make the most out of a date while on a tight budget. I always tell them that it's not really a problem. Even a first or second date can be worth it and memorable sans a fancy restaurant dinner or anything that will cost you half of your months' salary. Dating on a budget can actually give you and your date more time to get to know each.

If you like sports you can take her out to watch a little league's baseball game at the park instead of watching a baseball game with a more pricey ticket. Besides, kids are more fun to watch because there's less pressure and they most of the time do funny stunts on the field.

You can always go on a date even if you're on a tight budget. You just always have to remember to have fun because once you forget about that, no fancy dinner can compensate for the lameness of a no fun joe on a date with a great girl.

It's not where you are, it's who you're with. This saying, as cliché as it may sound, fits the bill perfectly on how to describe dating on a budget because it's spot on. Never consider dating on a budget as a setback. Just think of it as an opportunity or a challenge to make amazing things happen the simple way.

Ask your girl to drop by your house to catch a movie that both of you have been wanting to see. Prepare a dinner for both of you. Just make sure it's edible. If you can't really cook just simply ask a friend to help you out. Don't order out and tell your date you made it. They will know. It can also be an opportunity for you to practice your culinary skills or lack thereof. See everything as an opportunity, instead of a problem.

If you're a fan of the arts or at least your date is, another option for dating on a budget can be going to art galleries around your area. You can also observe pottery classes. It will be fun to try making one too in the process! Some poetry reading sessions would be a romantic yet inexpensive option as well.

Cheap can be fun especially if you know how to make the most out of it. If you really want to go out and have a special and memorable time, yet you're on a tight budget, take your date out on a simple late afternoon picnic. If you're still feeling lousy about it, compensate it with some Frisbee game or a bike ride going to the park and back.

A friend of mine had asked a date out and was supposed to take her to a fancy and newly opened restaurant. Unfortunately, at the last minute, he had a financial problem that he had to tend to immediately. This made hime cancel his reservations. The good thing about it was, he hasn't told his date yet that they were supposed to go to that restaurant. Another moral of the story is never brag. Not only is bragging a big turn-off, but once the expectations are not met, it's even more disappointing for both of you. They had a wonderful time watching a local baseball game followed by a picnic at the park nearby.

Always be considerate of your date. Know what he or she likes. Always remember that a date is always an opportunity to impress. Even a simple walk at the park or pizza can be considered a good date. Creativity is your strongest weapon against a tight budget and imagination is our limit.

 - About the Author:

Love and Fun Are One in the Same With You

Can you make him associate happiness with you? How do you create a correlation of fun and you as one concept? Is love more exciting then society makes us believe? Society makes us believe with media that love is an almighty powerful force of giddy smiles and walks in the rain but exhilaration in love might be more than Goosebumps from his kiss.

You need to create that notion in his head that love and fun are one in the same with you around. He links fun and good times to you while you increase your chances of nabbing a man for the long term. It's basic logic that the more he enjoys being with you the harder it is for him to walk away when there are no bad feelings or awkward small talk. Love should be fun, not a complicated measure or anxious waiting game for I love yous and tingly feelings. Love and fun are one in the same with you remember?

Give him some excitement outside the traditional fancy restaurant and wine. Experiment with new dates you have never done before. Go to a roller rink, football game, whale watching excursion, a day at the beach, watch the sunset an hour before to talk before it starts to fall. Dinner, wine, and a boat ride at dusk is a much better date. Now love and fun are one in the same with you.

A final touch can be something silly like Twister at your place, watching SNL, a paintball war, ice cream at Baskin Robbins, or finding constellations in the night. The point is to create more opportunities to make him laugh and enjoy you. You two have time to connect with conversation, smiles, and new emotions swirling inside. It's a nice feeling to find that one person toshare all the good times with. When love and fun are one in the same with you, it's all smiles from less bad days.

 - About the Author:
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? ClickUnforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that 99% of women have never heard. You have got to see this! 

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Online Recipes Can Be Really Fun


If you are bored of watching the same food time and again, you have a need to expect for supplemental food options to make a change and not have to eat out.

You have a lot of choices for finding out some thing new to make. There are tons of cooking books that carry detailed directions but you need to pay for them. There are sites that offer recipes that you may try out at home.

Even as there are masses still purchasing guides on various types of recipes, there are people who simply make an online search to see a new recipe. There are lots of benefits of doing this as the cyberspace is full of new recipes that you may read. And many times you find out things for free.

If you have some time anticipating for some recipe, you will may find that nearly any type of recipe is shown on one or more websites. There is not one but lots of such websites that offer data on making almost anything you like.

You may be astonished to find out how good it is to scout for any recipe you wish to. Once you make a simple search, you may be able to find the recipes for yourself. It may take not more than a moment to find what you need.

Thus it is workable to make anything new today by finding a recipe with all the commands and even step by step video tutorials about how to do it. You are able to show upon a beautiful surprise to your family members by cooking something that they will be delicious and what they may desire to eat.

There are women that are still applying just the bulky guide recipes. That is difficult and even expensive. You don't need to do that particularly as there are lots of sites throwing away free tutorials to you.

A recipes finder site may have tons of advantages for you. Once you are able to brush up your cooking ways, you may be more welcomed and loved socially and be able to show your skills not just to your home members but also to your visitors.

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Use online recipes finder and get chicken recipe.

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How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs


Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. 

To Seduce an Aries Man 
The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. 

To Seduce an Aries Woman 
The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. 

Seduction of Taurus 
Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. 

To Seduce a Taurus Woman 
The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. 

To Seduce a Gemini men 
Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. 

To Seduce Gemini Woman
The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded.

To Seduce a Cancer Man 
The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. 

To Seduce a Cancer Woman 
The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she'll feel herself drawn to him.

To Seduce a Leo Man 
The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. 

To Seduce a Leo Woman 
The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. 

To Seduce a Virgo Man 
The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. 

To Seduce a Virgo Woman 
The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady.

To Seduce a Libra Man 
The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn't too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship.

To Seduce a Libra Woman 
The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he's good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. 

To Seduce a Scorpio Man 
The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren't indecisive, weak willed pushovers.

To Seduce a Scorpio Woman 
Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. 

To Seduce a Sagittarius man 
Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. 

To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman 
The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. 

To Seduce a Capricorn Man 
The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status.

To Seduce a Capricorn Woman 
Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power.

To Seduce an Aquarius Man 
The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass.

To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman
The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way.

To Seduce a Pisces Man 
The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. 

To Seduce a Pisces Woman 
The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. 

You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.

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"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.

Read more: http://www.articlecube.com/Article/How-to-Seduce-the-12-Horoscope-Signs/122847#ixzz1gvdKSMb4

Top 10 romantic movies

Submitted by M. Sroka

Everybody loves a mushy, gushy romantic movie once in a while. Whether it is with your girls or your man, romantic movies are great to cuddle up to, chill out and maybe have a little cry. It can sometimes be extremely difficult to think of a good movie with all the right amounts of tears, laughter and more, so here are ten of the top romantic movies throughout the past few years, which will really get those tears of joy and sorrow flow. In no particular order they are as follows.

The Notebook

Made in 2004 this film is about a young couple who are from opposite ends of society. He is a poor fanatical young man and she is a rich young woman. They fall in love and together have one blissful summer. They are made to separate, but the young man cannot forget about his lover. He becomes rather depressed until he finds her and tries to get her back, but things are not how they used to be. The young lovers are played by Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. You can get hold of this beautiful film today from many online stores such as HMV and Play.com.

Pretty woman

This 1990 movie is a classic. If you haven't seen it you are missing out on a beautiful, fantastic movie. The main characters are played by Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. A Los Angeles hooker is transformed after she meets this suave rich business man. When you watch them fall in love, it is like a dream come true for this woman, from rags to riches. He teaches her how to be accepted into higher society. A new sophisticated young woman begins to fall in love with the handsome, helpful man, but does he want her for more than a hooker? With the great song "Pretty Woman" you will love this movie and be dancing around your room.

Love Actually

This movie follows eight diverse couples and their journeys, problems and decisions made in life. Made in 2003 it seems more recent than it actually is. Set only a month before Christmas, love is all around, relationship problems, regrets and happiness. You see how the couples are dealing with their problems and really get a feel for what they are going through. With happy and sad endings everyone comes together at Christmas. It is a great film that will also really get you in the mood for Christmas. You will be able to get hold of this film from many stores and online, do it now and you can collect nectar points!

An Officer and a gentleman

This is a real classic. Made in 1982, it stars Richard Gere who plays a young man trying to finish his work at a Navy Flight school so he can become an aviator. With help from their strict sergeant and a new girlfriend he makes it through, but with some extremely sad loses. You have to see this film if you haven't already! With the famous soundtrack, you will be wrapped up in the whole movie.

Bridget Jones diary

This film is based on a young girl and her diary called Bridget Jones, played by Renée Zellweger. This movie was made in 2001 and is still a film you will never get bored of. She has a rather eventful life, with a clumsy way this is a great romantic comedy. You can really see yourself in her shoes, which makes this film great to relate to. The two men who are constantly in and out of her life as lovers are played by Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. A very British woman is resolute to improve herself and her life in general whilst looking for love, keeping a diary the whole time. This film will always be highly desired, so get hold of yours today online at HMV, Play.com and more.

P.S. I Love You

If you are looking to have a good old cry then this is the perfect romantic movie for you. It was made in 2007 and stars Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler and Harry Connick Jr. A young couple holly and Gerry are as happy as ever, until Gerry dies and Holly is left alone, completely lost. This film is beautiful and heart retching. Before he died he had written letters and made plans for her, she would receive them monthly. However she starts to wait for the letters and not move on with life. He helps her with moving on and you see times from the past when they met and the great times they had to how life is now. This movie is a must see, and you will cry, it has to be done. You will be able to purchase this heart-rending movie from HMV, Play.com or eBay today.

Remember me

Made in 2010 this is one of the most recent romantic movies in the top ten, with Emilie de Ravin and Robert Pattinson playing the star roles. This is a fantastic movie that is really unpredictable and has a shocking ending you wouldn't expect. With them both going through traumatic experiences of loosing people who are closest to them, you really feel for them and enjoy seeing them come together. With witnessing her mother's murder and him dealing with his brother's suicide, they both support each other through these hard times and end up falling in love. You will not want to miss out on seeing this movie, so watch it today! As this movie is still popular it will be available in most stores such as HMV, Sainsbury's, Play.com and more.

500 days of Summer

The character Tom, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, falls in love with a girl named Summer, played by Zooey Deschanel, when she leaves him, he realises she isn't going to be returning. He starts to look back at all the times they had together and how happy he was. He starts to get really depressed as everything reminds him of her. She is a very different fun loving girl, who many men would drop dead for. As she doesn't believe in having boyfriends or relationships it wasn't going to work from the start, but this doesn't mean she won't fall in love, which she does. This movie was made in 2009, and is one you will really feel for. Get yours today from Play.com and other sites to gain more nectar points and see this heartfelt film.

Mamma mia

Available at numerous stores and online such as Sainsbury's and HMV, grab yours today. You may not think that Mamma Mia would be a great romantic move, but you would be wrong. This Mamma Mia movie was made in 2008 and stars Meryl Streep, Pierce Bronsan and Amanda Seyfried. When a young woman is going to get married she wants to know who out of the three men her mother had said about, is actually her father. As her mother is reluctant to tell, the young woman invites them all to her wedding. This movie is full of, laughter, surprises and of course lots of romance. The music throughout the film being ABBA will really get you on your feet.

City of angels

This 1998 film is one you will truly want in your romantic movie collection. It deals with relationships and situations on a personal base which you can really relate to. Starring Meg Ryan and Nicolas Cage, this fantastic film with have you on the edge of your seat. They are lovers who go through chaos but still stay by each other's side and end up together. It is a graceful movie that will reach your heart. It is a must see classic film that you won't regret watching. As this is an older movie you might find it harder to get hold of, however, if you look online at HMV and other sites such as eBay you will most likely get a fantastic copy of this amazing film.
Now you know what romantic movies are in the top ten, go out and get yours now! You can purchase these incredible movies from numerous places which include HMV, Amazon, and Play.com. You can look online to see if they have it and look at different offers with nectar. You will also be able to get free delivery off selected sites. So what are you waiting for, get yours now!

U.K based journalist, Martyna Sroka writes about fashion, online shopping, food and drink, home and garden and other online shopping experiences, industries and outlets including : eBay, Play.com and Argos.

Source: ArticleTrader.com

Communication in a Relationship

by: Michael Brady

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

"He never listens to me when I talk!"

"She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!"

"It's like talking to a brick wall"

"I can't get through to you"

"We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight"

"She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her"

"He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues"

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

"The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style – trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn’t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “I think you…”

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t work – go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person’s worth as a human being. “Avoid statements which begin with the words “You never …” or “I think you …”.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with “You always …”

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you – especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, “you shouldn’t feel like that.”

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person’s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.


As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

About The Author
Michael Brady is web entrepreneur and is currently running a very popular dating site (Dating In Ireland). He wishes to coach people on some skills that will make them more prepared for an online dating experience.
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